Top Ten List for Productivity and Joy

Todd’s got me reading Top Ten lists. They fascinate me even more than People magazine articles about deaf wiener dogs and IAMS cat ads. And so, since I found myself scrambling around for some crucial things this morning, I thought a Top Ten List for Productivity and Joy might be in order.

The Beloved Update is that, though the vomiting has finally (FINALLY!) abated, she has resigned herself to a life of being a 33-pound invalid. I am trying to find her a Hoveround from the Scooter Store, but they don’t make them small enough for her. So I’m thinking of adding a Razor engine to her Dora tricycle. I think that will work. Mostly, I just need to build up her strength. She has had half a Caprisun,  brought here by our neighborhood saint, Becky. That’s it for 3 days. Water and half a Caprisun. Yikes. But today. Today will be different.

And I know this, because here is a Top Ten List for Productivity and Joy:

1. Get up and get moving. The more sluggish you are, the more likely you are to remain sluggish. You may even begin to believe you aren’t feeling well. I know this because I’ve had it happen to me personally. More recently, I am raising a child that now wants to wash herself with a rag on a stick.
2. Get dressed. REALLY dressed. Get the kind of dressed that if Muriel walks over from next door, you are not ashamed to invite her in. Don’t put on the scary workout outfit and stay in that all day hoping you work out. Put on clothes. If you should work up the gumption to sweat, you can dress down at that moment. Put on shoes, too. It’s amazing how much more productive one can feel when dressed, ready, and wearing shoes.
3. If you are feeling a little low, sing. Sing LOUD. Sing like you mean it, even if you don’t. When you are done singing, you likely WILL mean it. If you can’t think of any songs that sound good loud, allow me to suggest a few: Jesus Loves Me (your kids will love this one), Zippety Doo Dah, Anything from the Sound of Music, Take Me Out to the Ballgame, etc. I’m also quite certain that Michael Jackson could do wonders for a person.
4. If singing doesn’t work, find an insulated spot and laugh maniacally. I say ‘find an insulated spot’ because most people won’t understand this and you don’t want to find yourself as the object of some investigation as a result of this activity. Don’t wear a trenchcoat while doing this one, in case you are discovered. That will be evidence stacked against you. Really, though, forced laughter does work.
5. Hug someone. Almost anyone will do, but it’s best if you know the person.
6. Make a list. Yes, Kim. You read it here. Make a list. Check things off as you accomplish them. Don’t force yourself to the wall on this and don’t be ridiculously unrealistic in making the list. Just define a few things needed in your day and stick by them.
7. Read something inspirational. Something like this blog. No, I am kidding. Don’t read this blog for that and steer clear of People and Time magazines. The Bible is great for that. Something that qualifies as actual literature would work well.
8. Exercise. If you are able to, move a little. This can be as simple as lifting 3 pound weights for a few minutes or as complicated as going for a strenuous ride on a mountain bike. Oh, how I long for a strenuous ride on a mountain bike. How can I strap my 33-pound invalid to the bike without breaking her in half? I can’t. Oh, well. I’ll go with something lighter for today.
9. Think of someone who would like to hear from you and call them. You’ll brighten their day, which in turn brightens yours and brings energy to everyone.
10. Pray. Pray throughout your day. About big things. About little things. Just pray.
11. Think of something that needs to be done today that you are absolutely dreading. Envision yourself as a rock star at this activity. Now do it. Right now. Make the dreaded phone call. Look the dentist in the eye and tell him you are not the scum he tries to make you feel you are (we have some personal issues on this one…). Clean the toilet that you fear will claim your hand forever (this one I made up, I promise. My toilets are clean…). Add up what you spent yesterday and make a new plan. Apologize to the guy on the beach whose big hole your children ruined (really, it’s a public beach, dude). Do it. Now. You’ll feel better. So much better. And then you can move on to something more productive and joyous.

Now go get dressed, moving, singing, laughing maniacally, exercising, calling, reading, and praying. I’m sitting here in gym shorts, barefoot, and ignoring the ringing phone. Hmm.

One final note: Have you gone to Pioneer Woman to comment on her Quarters post for the victims of last week’s tornadoes? If you haven’t, hop over here, click the Confessions tab, scroll down to the Quarters post, and leave a comment. She’s donating 25 cents for every comment in that post. We have until tomorrow at noon for the comments.