Ah, yes. Haven’t we all been singing along to Africa by Toto and caught ourselves singing, “There’s nothing that 100 men on Mars could ever do…I left my brains down in Africa…” You know you’ve done it. If you don’t know the song Africa by Toto, I want you to find a spatula and slap your own face. Hard. Be ashamed.
But in honor of Mother’s Day weekend, tonight we are keeping it light and keepin’ it real. Here are some of the butchered song lyrics you submitted to me on Facebook:
Butchered: Oh Canada, We stand on cars and freeze.
Proper: Oh Canada, we stand on guard for thee.
Butchered: Taco Belly, Taco Belly, Taco Belly, Taco Belly
Proper: Talk about it, talk about it, talk about it, talk about it.
Butchered: Hey Jew.
Correct: Duh. Really, Josh? He thought it was a song about Israelites and he was in Junior High at the time. That’s what happens when people don’t listen to the Beatles.
Place in this World
Butchered: My face in a swirl
Proper: My place in this world
Butchered: 867 By the Real Nighty Night. (What? Huh?)
Butchered: I’m three, three fourin’
Proper: I’m free, free fallin’
Who Will Follow Jesus
Butchered: Who will follow Jesus, who will bake a pie?
I am on the Lord’s Side, Master here’s your pie.
Proper: Who will follow Jesus, who will make reply?
I am on the Lord’s Side, Master here am I.
Sowing the Seed
Butchered: Are you sowing the seed of the king, Dumb Brother?
Proper: Are you sowing the seed of the kingdom, brother?
Walking in a Winter Wonderland
Butchered: Later on, we’ll perspire, as we dream by the fire.
Proper: Later on, we’ll conspire as we dream by the fire.
Butchered: Who ya gonna call, Cold Mustard? (We all reach for the phone book to call Cold Mustard when we are in need…)
Proper: Who ya gonna call, Ghostbusters?
Butchered: Sausages, sausages, barely even human (that’s true, you know)
Proper: Savages, savages, barely even human.
And probably my favorite for tonight:
Butchered: Be strong and Caucasian. (I’m not even going to touch this one…)
Proper: Be strong and courageous.