Lita and Her No Teeth

About 4 p.m. today, I was driving home from a crazy circuit of the doctor, the pharmacy, and the pizza joint. Mamasboy has been pretty sick. And this morning, he started in talking about his ears. I don’t mess around with ears. I secured us an appointment with the doctor who already thinks I’m missing some very important faculties, and we did that whole thing. Since we’ve already completely wrecked any hope of a dignified reputation in that office, Sister CamelthatbrokeMama’sBack (her indian name) thought she’d just barge into a closed exam room.  People love that when they have sick infants.

Anyway, we killed our waiting time at the pharmacy by checking each other’s blood pressure, buying cough drops, and standing in the bakery. As we stood there waiting for our free cookie, it occurred to me that MB hadn’t eaten lunch. It was now 3 p.m. He hadn’t been hungry much today. So I said the healthiest thing I could think of, which was, “Would you like a glazed doughnut?” He said yes. And that was lunch.

Anyway, on the way home from all of that fun stuff, I ended up directly behind the company minivan for Lovely Lita’s Sheltering Tree Foundation Inc. Squirrel Rescue. I did not make any of that up. Except that the font on the car magnet was so swirley that it looked like Lovely Uta’s, and it took me forever to find Lovely Lita’s on Google with Uta’s as my search criteria. I had to bypass about 150,000 references to the great and beautiful state of Utah. They don’t rescue squirrels in Utah. Nor should they. Anywhere.

Why do we rescue squirrels? They are rats with fluffy tails. They are dirty rodents. During a Halloween celebration in the park, with children in costume and pizza for lunch, a squirrel jumped down out of an oak tree and stole a full, untouched slice of cheese pizza. I did not see the dirty rodent steal it. But it hit me in the head when he was done gnawing on it right overhead. Dirty cheese-pizza-eating rat. I wouldn’t rescue that guy.

Anyway, when I finally found Lovely Lita’s Sheltering Tree Foundation Inc. Squirrel Rescue, I read the Home Page. And I will share a couple of shocking things with you. Italics are my thought responses, though I’m certain you didn’t need that explanation.

Lita is the little one I named the organization after.  She came to me after a tropical storm came through the area.  At the time, I was only getting a squirrel here and there.  Why? Why were you only getting a squirrel here or there? Are you the squirrel whisperer? How do they find you? She was the only baby that came in to me that year.  I was working as a pet sitter full time when she was a baby so she went with me wherever I went.  When she was old enough to move around she would ride in the car and loved every minute of it.  She would ride on my shoulder and watch the world go by.  She loved going through the drive thru, especially McDonalds, as she would get little pieces of food.  AH, yes.  Nothing says ‘Baby Squirrel Rescue’ like a castoff Happy Meal. When she was about four months old she caught her top teeth on something and one was torn out. Ay Carumba! That is horrendous.

About two weeks later the second top tooth came out, too.  Apparently it had also been loosened when she lost the first one.  Neither tooth ever came back in so she had pulled them out by the root.  Yikers. Since she has no top teeth she is not releasable and lives with me.  She is a really amazing personality.  I’ll bet she is. She loves to come out every day and run around.  When you go into the room she wants to sit on you to be pet and loved.  She will then “let” you catch her and put her back in her cage. I know this isn’t a logical leap, but when I read that last sentence, I thought about Norman Bates dressed up as his mother. And now I’m picturing a toothless squirrel in a dress and a gray wig with a bun and a hatchet.


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6 thoughts on “Lita and Her No Teeth

  1. EWWWWW

    This reminds me of the garage sale I went to last spring where I had to listen to two ladies talk about raising raccoons and all kinds of similar rodents (including, at one time, A SKUNK!!!) IN THEIR HOUSES. I already knew I wasn’t made for rural life, but that sealed it.

  2. Because I can’t always be sure that your stories are true, I Googled (yes, I do Google) Lovely Lita and you were entirely accurate. I now think that LL owes you one; you will do much for her, bringing her squirrels desparately needed attention. And she asks for donations……….so that she can continue releasing orphaned squirrels on her 10 acre squirrel reserve……And frankly, I think this whole story is pretty squirrelly!

  3. It made me think of the movie “Rat Race” and the crazy squirl rescue lady. I used to have a tender heart towards them, but then they began making holes in our screened- in- room YEARS ago, and then we caught one, it was hideous with parasites and nasty tumors. Nasty nasty creatures.

  4. As someone who lives in the rural area of these glorious southern states (South Carolina, to be precise), may I please state that we do not allow squirrels to live with us, or have raccoons in our homes, or heavens to Betsy, SKUNKS in the vicinity of our walled estates. It these creatures are found anywhere near our homes…they will be shot. No questions asked.

    That seems to go for some visitors as well……..

    Gotta love Southern Hospitality!!

  5. just a few weeks ago our friends shared the story of a squirrel his mother rescued form their front yard and they raised it in a cage in the house. It had a HAMMOCK! It sat on it”s back and ate too many nuts apparently because it got real fat. They found it dead one day and his father claims he thinks it choked on a nut and was too fat to roll over and cough it up. So that’s what you get for rescuing squirrels!

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