Hamlet, Mad Libs Style

Recently I drug a large blue Rubbermaid out of the attic to see what was in it. Diaries from 1984. Letters from college and my early married years. And a half-completed book of Mad Libs copyrighted at 1976. I’m certain it wasn’t 1976 when my brother and I did these. I’m guessing circa 1982 and up. We thought we were funny, so we had to be standing in line for our gawky years by then.

But since the book was only half-completed, it was also half empty. I just went ahead and filled that gap in for you, in case you are having an off day. And since Mamasboy is on his third day of fever, we’ve been lying around together doing some of these and cackling together. We may both be idiots, but we laugh at the same things, so it’s fun. Even with fever, we have a good time. Though Mad Libs are mostly designed for stupidity’s sake, you do have to know what verbs, nouns, and adjectives are. And you do occasionally have to identify a “girl in room” or yank the name of a celebrity out of a hat. For us, it’s easy to think of the celebrities. Charlie Sheen and Justin Bieber. Wait till you see the celebrity I came up with in 1982ish. Here’s an oldie that gave me a tiny chuckle. Hamlet, as Mad Llibbed by Bart and Missy.


This is the soliloquy from the play, “Hamlet,” written by Merlin Olson. In the third act of this round (adj) play, Hamlet, who is sometimes called “the melancholy flapjack (noun),” is suspicious of his stepfather and hires some actors to act out a scene in which a king is killed when someone pours Slurpee (liquid) into his tarantula (noun). First, however, he declaims: To be or not to be — that is the sock (noun). Whether ’tis nobler in the mind to suffer the pantaloons (plural noun) and hedgetrimmers (plural noun) of outrageous fortune, or to take arms against a sea of biscuits (plural noun), and by opposing, to end them? To die, to sleep — no more. And by a sleep to say we end the thousand natural gifts (noun) that flesh is heir to, ’tis a consummation devoutly to be wished. To die, to gnaw (verb); to gobble (verb); perchance to jiggle (verb); ay, there’s the leotard (noun).

Oh, Merlin Olson. Good times.