And the Winner Is…

Earlier today, I offered some of the worst Easter photos ever taken. They were taken by me. And though they are a wreck, I’m so thankful I felt pressured to take them. They represent an honest moment in time.

Tonight I present to you the winner of the Reverse “Best Easter Photo” Contest. It is a reverse contest, because the winner is announced first and you get the opportunity to unseat this winner…if you can. It’ll be tough to do, though, because this photo clearly represents the world of parents who drag their children to the mall to sit on the laps of a predatory costumed character. Then they watch their children dissolve into heaps of traumatized screaming. And then they pay at least $20 to preserve those chuckles forever.

I’m not judging.
I’ve done this.
Not with the Easter Bunny, but I have turned the hearts of my children away from Mall Santas for all eternity. Oh yes, I have. But you’ll just have to wait on that one. It’s only April.

So I present to you the following Winner. Should you have a photo of an Easter fiasco that trumps this, please send it to me. Perhaps we CAN unseat this winner. You have until Easter to try.

Just to make sure we don’t miss the impact of this moment, I have cropped this down into the cast of four characters. Continue scrolling…

This is Mr. and Mrs. Informinator’s firstborn, clutching Mr. BunBun for dear life and obviously pleading to be removed from the situation. He was fine up until the moment the cameras started rolling.

Below is Jessie. You may have seen her beat me in the Cone Off at the park. She was apparently screaming PRIOR to the photo. But after a good healthy spit-up, she was at peace with the holiday. I’m fairly certain she does have feet, but they are lost in the fur of this very large predator.

And this is Jocelyn. She was loving this. Totally.

And let’s not forget this guy. Does he look innocent to you?

I am completely creeped out right now…
Hoppy Easter.

Oh, Easter

I struggle with the Easter Bunny/Fancy Hat side of Easter every year. Every year. I have issues with the Easter Bunny and I don’t wear fancy hats. In fact, I don’t wear fancy anything and fancy makes me break out. But I am SUPPOSED to look fancy on this one day. I don’t really understand this. Is is about Him or is it about us? If it’s about Him, then it should not be about me. And if it’s not about Him, then why am I doing it? I find it a little baffling when commercialism and religion try to link arms and walk off together. Just seems confusing. I’m not trying to spark any controversy or even solve this in my mind, so don’t stress yourself out over this. What I believe about the Easter holiday doesn’t matter anyway. What I believe is this: I believe in Jesus. Every day of every week. I believe in bunnies of the marsh and pet variety. And I believe in eating chocolate as often as possible. I do not believe in eating marshmallow peeps. If Disgusting could be packaged and eaten…oh wait, it can. Marshmallow peeps. Nasty.

But back to the fancy thing. I have always felt the pressure of THAT Sunday, because everyone is fancified to photogenic perfection. Girls have ribbons and lacy socks and little hats. Older ladies wear hats that look like someone glued an igloo on top of a lily pad and called it a new dormitory. Little boys are wearing suits with hankies in the pockets.

And then there’s me.
And my kids.
I try.
I really do.
It’s just so much pressure.

Beyond the outfit, then there is the Easter Outfit Picture. To illustrate the pressure I feel to properly comply, and then the level of failure I experience, I will post the only 4 pictures I took of my children on Easter Sunday, 2008.

In this first one, I decided to butcher the light, smash the newborn into the crack of a chair, and juxtapose pink dresses with a red chair. Awesome. And the baby is spitting.

And since that lighting thing went badly, I’ll try a flash with this next one and go with the over-exposure look. Now she just looks frightened and plagued with male pattern baldness. Cute, though, in a Monkey Sanctuary kind of way…

And here comes the family shot. Everyone look your best and smile for the camera.

Never. Mind.