I have a whole bunch of posts I wrote on a private blog a long, long time before I started a public one. Some of them are better than others. All of them record life with my wee ones and I am so very thankful I wrote down as much as I did. Tonight, getting them all into bed was more like a wrestling smackdown than a scene from Little Women. It wasn’t a big deal, but I think maybe I should loosen up a little. It’s summertime now, for the love of wrinkles. As I got to thinking about the little darlings, I read back through some old stuff. I think on days when I don’t have original thoughts, I will post something from the archives. If you want to read it, great. If not, also great. Only YOU can control your eyeballs.
In light of the fact that tomorrow is Sunday, the Lord’s Day, I’ll dredge up this one. I hope you are all kicking back somewhere and drinking in summer.
I just laid my youngest blessing down in her bed and paused to watch her sleep as the rain fell steadily outside against her window. She resides now in what was once Mama’s Boy’s room. I still have very vivid memories of rocking him to the sound of a similar rain. As I stood there, it occurred to me again how much I have…how blessed I am. It also occurred to me that it is very easy to love God with all of this around me, in my arms, in my face. Daily. If one of these children were taken from me suddenly, if my health were taken, or a friend, or a parent, what then? How much harder it would be to accept God’s decisions if I perceived that they were against me…if they disrupted the peace that I give Him credit for giving me. I take these things “for granted,” a phrase I’ve been thinking about for at least a week now. What is for granted? It indicates there is something that SHOULD be granted me…something I am owed. Is there anything in my life that I really deserved or earned? Anything I was owed? We come to expect things that come with a territory. If I am in my 20s and looking, I should be married. If I am married and financially stable, I should be able to conceive children. If I am young, I should be healthy. If my family is young, they should all be alive. The list goes on. We expect these things. We struggle when life takes a turn against the expectation…against what should be granted. Or so we think.
I now believe that nothing is truly for granted. Nothing is a given. Everything is a miracle on loan and nothing should cause me to leave Him if it were suddenly removed from me. This has made me think, because as I stated, it is easy to love Him on top of the blessings He has given me. It is easy to love Him alongside what I have. The trick is to love Him more than all of that. The trick is to be closer to the Giver than I am to the gifts. He has to be my ultimate relationship, because the ones He has given me here for my own comfort and strength are just on loan. They are granted me for now, but are not to be taken for granted.