I can’t help it.

Sometimes I just HAVE to read Craigslist. Before I post today’s Certifiably Crazy Ad of the Day, I will tell you the end of the “Got a Dog when I was 6” story. This is the part I haven’t told my kids.

We loved Benji for 11 solid years. Toward the end, he had a stroke of some sort and could no longer walk in a straight line. He walked sideways. That was both pitiful and a little bit funny.

But one late night while staying at St. Teresa Beach, he wandered off. Sideways. And walked sideways across the little highway. A truck not driving sideways hit him.

And it was sad.

But I didn’t post on Craigslist about it.

I just blogged about it 24 years later. And now…….here’s your ad of the day. Grammar has been left untouched. Enjoy.

SWIPER needs YOU ASAP (USF/Busch Gardens)

MEEEE—OOOWWW! That’s cat for hello and I want to love you forever! Try saying it? Doesn’t it make YOU feel great inside too, to know a cat wants to love you forever? My name is SWIPER, just like in Dora, and I am an 11 month old gray wish orange swishes and black ring-tail female KITTEN/CAT (that means I am sooo playful that I still think I’m a new bundle of joy, but my age says I’m almost a full grown cat…hmphf…LOL). My humans adopted me when I was barely 6 wks old and I’ve been loved and pampered ever since, but life has taken a toll on my dear humans. While they love me beyond love, they are raising two disabled little grandsons and are being forced to move away to find the right services for them. They found a new house by a special schoo, but that house won’t allow any pets, even with a special deposit. My humans are CRUSHED, and tried to negotiate, especially now that I am to be a mother myself VERY SOON, but the new landlords said aboslutely NO! I am truly a wonderful young feline, and I don’t cause any trouble…have always been around other cats and know to take the high ground if the dogs want to play too rough, and I like to go outside, but then come in to eat and catch some ZZZZZ’s or snuggle. Although this is my first litter, I have helped socialize other newborn kittens a few different times, so it wouldn’t take YOU much effort to feed me, do my litter and just make sure no other living thing eats my babies…..I will be a FANTASTIC mother! I PROMISE I will be good to you and your family if you’ll love mine too until they are old enough to eitehr keep with US, or to re-home…I PROMISE! My humans are running out of time to find me a REAL home, and I don’t know if my human mom will surivive if she must take me and my unborns to a shelter to take my chances! PLEASE don’t let sadness become the fate of all of us! MEEEE—OOOOOWWW!!! lets make a forever love connection! My humans even have litter to get you started if you want it! PLEASE call ASAP….813-464-5837 and leave a message if the humans can’t answer immediately as they are chasing those grandkids! The pics of me won’t upload here, but if you text, they have pics to share showing GORGEOUS, SPECIAL ME! God Bless my new family when they call…AMEN!

This ad is really kind of touching. If only it weren’t written from the perspective of a crazy cat named Swiper having a load of babies out of wedlock.

You had me at “let’s make a forever love connection.”

No, you did not.

 

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