Gatlinburg Chronicles – Part 2 of One million Thousand Hundred

Still Present Day. Flashbacks are coming at some point…

I cannot linger over my usual wordy prose. I’ve got places to go and indian artifacts that were made in China to buy. So I will offer you a few bullet points from yesterday:

* If there is even the remotest chance that the deodorant you are about to apply is brand new with one of those harsh plastic pieces on the end of it, by all means look before you roll. Series injuries can occur. Hypothetically speaking, of course.

* We spent the day at Ober Gatlinburg yesterday and bought an armband to do all the stuff. After wandering down a series of ramps to look at hibernating bears and a few indigenous animals they scrounged out of the woods out back, AG had to go to the restroom. And I mean, he HAD to go. Right then. So we had to run back up the series of ramps to a bathroom that was clearly designed for young, spry people who only meander to bathrooms. Certainly the person who designed this restroom had never had an emergency while looking at otters in the “wildlife encounter.” At one point, while I was huffing and sucking wind, I asked AG, “Did we really come down ALL THESE RAMPS?” He said yes. I have GOT to get back in shape.

*My dad and I were flagged by the Alpine Slide guys as “too fast.” I beg to differ. I think all the other people on the mountain should have been flagged as “Go to the Lam-O Hospital or Get off the TRACK!”

* We ice skated. Beloved, AG, me, Dad, and Mama’s Boy. It went a whole lot better than I expected it to, until the last time around the rink. I always go one time too many around the rink, metaphorically speaking. Mama’s Boy was ten feet behind me, holding his own. Then I heard a combination thud splat sound and I whipped around to see him lying flat out on the ice. He had fallen on his face without breaking his fall in any way. His face hit the ice in two spots and he got a goose egg abrasion from it. Pictures to follow, at some point. The good news was that he took it well. The bad news was that I had to set aside my hopes he’ll become a figure skater.

* Somehow I can manage to even turn bullet points into books. Sheesh.

* I’m off to Cherokee in the rain to curse Andrew Jackson for forcing the Indians onto the Trail of Tears. Shame on you, President AJ. Shame on you.

One thought on “Gatlinburg Chronicles – Part 2 of One million Thousand Hundred

  1. Your posts actually make me want to return to the field of parked cars where Eric and I sat for who knows how long until we made it to our cabin on the mountain. I do want to visit Cherokee though. You’ll have to give me pointers.

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