Almost anybody could tell you that I’m practically a doctor. It’s in the genes. No, I didn’t go to Harvard. And no, I didn’t go to “medical school.” And yes, I did make Cs in high school chemistry. But have you met my mother? I dare you to get a malady that she can’t diagnose. Get sick in some weird way (normal ways are fine too; all the easier for her, really.), save the $100 your insurance will charge you, and call my mom. 

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